Buckley Blog

The Countdown Ends Today.

Audrey is 16.
Audrey is officially available to date. Group date.

All potential young men must fill out the following application before permission is given to date our daughter:

Name_______________
Birth date ____________
Height____ Weight_____
IQ_____GPA_____

Driver's License # ________
Boy Scout Rank & Badges______________________________________________

Home address_________
Do you have parents? yes__ no__
Is one male and the other female? yes__ no__
If No, explain:

1. Do you own or have access to a van? yes__ no__
2. A water bed? yes__ no__
3. A tattoo? yes__ no__
4. Do you have any piercings? yes__ no__

If you answered "yes" to any of the last 4 questions, discontinue application and leave premises immediately. I suggest running.

In 50 words or less, what does "late" mean to you?

In 50 words or less, what does "don't touch my daughter" mean to you?

In 50 words or less, what does "abstinence" mean to you?

What do you want to do IF you grow up?

When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:

signature________________

mom's signature_______________

dad's signature________________

pastor/priest/bishop signature _____________
*Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow 4-6 years for processing.

To prepare yourself, start studying

Daddy's Rules for Dating

1. If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.
2. You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or your hands off my daughter, I will remove them.
3. Do not lie to me. On issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house.

(Whoever wrote this material, well done. Someone emailed this "dating application" to me. I cut a lot of it out though because I have ADD super bad and didn't want to type it all.)

Audrey's Dad: