Audrey said my blog was boring. I just don't have anything to write about. So here is a picture of my favorite picture:

FYI Family,

If I die of a heart attack, I'll save you the time of seeking an autopsy on me by just telling you what clogged up me old heart:

Maybe you can sue Breyer's for making the best ice cream ever. Gotta be rocky road. Or chocolate mint, I've eaten enough chocolate mint to take a good decade off of my life.


If I continue on the 1 Reese's a day path for like the next 60 years, I will surely die prematurely.


If you want to try to sue Costco for making me eat too many churro's I say, do it.


Also, how about those devils that put some kind of addictive drug in Krispy Kreme Doughnuts?
I know, it's evil. Thank you, city where I live, for not having a Krispy Kreme store.

Guess who won the last 2 eBay auctions?
Yes me. Our mail carrier is going to be my NBF for a while.

(New Best Friend)

Yeah, what if some of the shoes don't fit. Good point...

History has shown however, that I am a consistent size 9 in this particular brand of shoe. All of the shoes that I "won" are the same brand. The only potential issue is width. I can't wait to get them and see!

I've got 9 hours left and 13 hours left on the last 2 pairs of shoes that I bid on. I think this is it for me, as far as needing new shoes goes. Except seriously, check these out:

I know. The cuteness. The details. The color. Please don't bid on these, I want/need these babies. And this is the last pair. Then I am done, seriously, done getting shoes.

Happy Birthday to Me!

I am not kidding. I won these today on eBay. These are the babies that I've would have sold out all the other shoes for. And I won! This is the most amount of shoes that I've ever had ever. Check these out! I know. I've only got 2 more shoes in the bidding line for me to see if I won them or not.

And the winner is...


...me! I "won" all of these on eBay yesterday. Wow! And I still have 3 more pairs of shoes that I prematurely bid on and can potentially win. My self esteem is really high right now.

Important Information About eBay

(That I just learned.)

1. If you find a ton of things you like on eBay, let's say Cole Haan shoes, don't anxiously bid on ALL of the shoes you think are cute, because you just might win ALL of them.
2. There's a thing you can click on called WATCHING where you can WATCH things you like so you don't have to bid on everything impulsively.
   
3. If you bid on, let's say 3 pairs of black Cole Haan sandles, you can't unbid 2 of them, you can only hope that someone will outbid you on 2 of them, so you only end up with 1 pair.
4. It's exhilarating winning. I feel like a winner when I get the, let's say, shoes. It's really great for my self esteem outbidding everyone else on the entire earth.
5. Let's say I had a budget of $100 for shoes yesterday at the mall and all I could find that I LIKED, were shoes over $100. So, I come home disappointed and check eBay. Going over $100 by a teeny bit I buy like a dozen amazing shoes. I just saved myself hundreds of dollars by using eBay. Hundreds! I get it now!
   

You're welcome!

10 Made Up Phobias
That Should Be Legitimate
+1 Bonus Phobia

1. Fear of chipping the front 2 teeth. Now I also fear of pictures of chipped teeth.
2. Fear of forgetting to apply deodorant. Also that someone will notice the forgotten application of deodorant.
   
3. Fear of not finding a bathroom. Until the wearing of Depends, this fear is going to thrive.
   
4. Fear of losing the remote control. Now what am I supposed to do?
   
5. Fear of being late. Nothing makes me feel like a bigger jerk than being late, that, and when I insult people accidentally.
   
6. Fear of eating something with a hair in it. A picture of this would have been just as horrifying as the real thing! You're welcome.
   
7. Fear of not clean bathrooms. Mostly just touching things in the not clean bathrooms.
   
8. Fear of revealing too much wearing a bathing suit. Who wants that? Sick.
   
9. Fear of getting lice. Also includes, pictures of lice, thinking about lice, sharing brushes, touching heads, and watching people scratch their heads or other body parts, etc.
   
10. Fear of having a child lost. Thought I lost Preston at a work Christmas party when he was a little guy and had a debilitating panic attack.

The Bonus Phobia:
surfaced after our move to Washington.

It is the fear of having a tree fall on our house. This picture sums it up well.
This fear instigates a fear of strong wind. It never ends.

10 Most Irrational Phobias

According to me.

Part 3 of the phobia rant.

1. Nomatophobia- Fear of names. How do you identify anything? Me doesn't get it.
   
2. Ambulophobia- Fear of walking. That cat is LAZY! No, he is severely ambulophobic, don't be a jerk.


3. Anglophobia- Fear of England or English culture, etc. It's not appropriate to joke about any culture. Or perhaps I have culturejokaphobia.


4. Arithmophobia- Fear of numbers. Yeah - if I were that guy, I'd be afraid too. Dumb. I know. But it's an irrational fear. "Irrational" is a math word! Is that scary? Is there a phobia for fearing the irrational?
   


5. Asymmetriphobia- Fear of asymmetrical things. Asymmetry is annoying. Come on people!


6. Bibliophobia- Fear of books. How about the fear of having to read really boring books? I've got that. I've got that bad.


7. Cherophobia- Fear of gaiety. Smiling is my favorite. This kind of smiling not so much:


8. Consecotaleophobia- Fear of chopsticks. What about fear of unrecognizable slimy food? Not a culture joke- slimy food in general.


9. Melanophobia- Fear of the color black. That's irrational..except...for fear of black jellybeans, those are disgusting!


10. Agateophobia- fear of insanity. Does fearing insanity make one insane? Who cares.

I only got to the n's on the alphabetical list of phobias. BLOG POST DISCLOSURE: The facts mentioned here are not scientifically proven, verified, or necessarily true. For entertainment purposes only. Not useful for self diagnosis.

Top 11 Favorite Phobias

10 wasn't enough.

My personal favorites because they are interesting, fascinating or ridiculous.

1. Zemmiphobia- Fear of the great mole rat. Lame. First, they are kind of cute, second, how often do you encounter one? (Doraphobes prefer this little guy as a pet. See #9)


2. Scriptophobia- Fear of writing in public. I bet some people really have this fear. Mildly interesting.
   
3. Pogonophobia- Fear of beards. Yeah I think I am afraid of beards. I wouldn't want that for me.
   
4. Pedophobia- Fear of children. Why? I am like 3 times their size, I could totally dominate in a fight if I had to.


5. Octophobia - Fear of the figure 8. AAAAgh. Don't get it. How does this fear manifest itself? You don't look at an "8"or say the word "eight" without sweating? What about the sideways 8 "infinity" sign? Is that nervousmaking?


6. Mnemophobia- Fear of memories. Good luck curing yourself of this one and then remembering that you were cured of it already so you don't need to fear anymore. Follow me?
7. Lutraphobia- Fear of otters. This one is not rational. Look at this guy. All laid back chillin in his habitat.


8. Hobophobia- Fear of bums or beggars. My sweet littly guy friend Zach, who is 7, loves the word "hobo" and uses it frequently. He is no hobophobe.


9. Doraphobia- Fear of fur or skins of animals. "I love your dog, I just don't want to touch it." Get it away from me.
   


10. Barophobia- Fear of gravity. Pretty much unavoidable. How about getting over this one?
11. Arachibutyrophobia- Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth. If you are afraid of this then your life must be pretty great.

Phobias & Self Diagnosis Results

Most lightning strikes occur either at the beginning or end of a storm. A warning that something wicked this way comes, or something wicked this way is leaving.

Thank you internet for the diagnosis, I've got severe Astraphobia. Defined as "a persistent, abnormal, and unwarranted fear of thunder and lightning", each year this surprisingly common phobia causes countless people needless distress.

I know that sound travels slower than light. So by the time thunder roars, the damage by lightning is already done. Not all phobias make sense.

I also have the following:

Aerophobia - Fear of flying

Tonitrophobia - Fear of thunder (different website, different phobia name)

Mageirocophobia - Fear of cooking. Actually, I fear wasting time cooking something that is going to be gross anyway.

Verminophobia - Fear of germs. I am glad germs are not visible to the naked eye.

Coulrophobia - Fear of clowns. They are all murderers.

Ataxophobia - Fear of disorder or untidiness. If I really had this phobia I'd make my bed, but I don't.

Dystychiphobia - Fear of accidents. Who wouldn't have this phobia? I just don't want an accident right now. For me or my family. When push comes to shove, I just don't want that.

Yea!! I don't have the following:

Aichmophobia - Fear of needles or pointed objects. Look at the picture- he is so happy. That's me when I give blood. Free cookies. Wait-I am afraid of knives.

Arachnophobia - Fear of spiders. I change my mind. I do have this a little. I also fear killing spiders because of that "crunch" sound they make when I capture them and squish them.

Dentophobia - Fear of dentists. Always loved the dentist. Everyone should have straight, white teeth.

Ephebiphobia - Fear of teenagers. Teens are fantastic. They are bursting with creativity and love for life.

Glossophobia - Fear of speaking in public. Practice has healed that fear. Doesn't mean that I'm good at it though.

Hemophobia - Fear of blood. Eh. Blood is necessary for life. Seeing a lot of it coming out of some one might be bothersome though.

*I looked up some of these phobias at dictionary.com and they weren't there. So - the accuracy of this post may be flawed.